Sometimes it's the best room in my house. It's quiet, my computer is out there and I can fall asleep in a comfortable chair if I choose or listen to music without interruption. Everyone here knows where to find me, In My Garage.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

FW: Christmas Pageant







The Christmas Pageant

 

My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time) for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby.

I decided to do some serious praying and promised God that if he would give us a 
 child, I would be a perfect mother, love it with  all my heart and raise it with His word as my guide.

God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son.

The next year God blessed us
with another son.

The following year, He blessed us with  yet another son.

The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty. We now had four children, and the oldest was only four years old.

I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it. As a minister once told me, "If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children each day as they lay in their cribs. 

I was off to a good start. God had entrusted me with four children and I didn't want to disappoint Him.

I tried to be patient the day the children smashed two dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks.

I tried to be understanding...
 

When they started a hotel for homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs.

When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled up in a blanket to see how it felt to be a hot dog, I tried to see the humor rather than the mess. 

In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers, never eating a hot meal  and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time, I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother - I didn't even come close... I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God. 

I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told my daughter we were going to church to worship God, and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to "wash up" Jesus, too.

Something was lost in the translation when I explained that God gave us everlasting life, and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his "last wife."

My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant.

My daughter was playing Mary, two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man. This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line, "We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes." 

But he was nervous and said, "The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes." 

My four-year-old "Mary" said, "That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly. That's dirty, rotten clothes."

A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd and was stopped by an angel, who bent her halo and lost her left wing. 

I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped the doll representing Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the aisle crying, "Mama-mama." 

Mary grabbed the doll, wrapped it back up and held it tightly as the wise men arrived.

My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown, knelt at the manger and announced, "We are the three wise men, and we are bringing gifts of gold, common sense and fur."

The congregation dissolved into laughter, and the pageant got a standing ovation. 

"I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this one," laughed the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes.

"For the rest of my life, I'll never hear the Christmas story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur."

"My children are my pride and my joy and my greatest blessing," I said as I dug through my purse for an aspirin.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.

Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.


Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.

Had no army, yet kings feared Him.

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us.


If you believe in God and in Jesus Christ His Son, send this to all on your buddy list.


GOD BLESS YOU


Keep Christ in your Christmas
 

=


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Friday, December 18, 2009

FW: The Company Party




 

 

************************************

Company Memo




FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources  Director
TO:        All  Employees
DATE:    October 1, 2008
RE:         Gala Christmas Party



I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will  take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function  room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!   We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing  along.  And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa  Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM.  Exchanges of gifts  among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over  $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.  This  gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special  announcement at that time!


Merry Christmas to you and  your family,
Patty
  


Company Memo




FROM:      Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:          All Employees
DATE:     October 2,  2008
RE:         Gala Holiday  Party


In no way was yesterday's  memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.  We recognize that  Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas,  though unfortunately not this year.  However, from now on, we're  calling it our "Holiday Party."  The same policy applies to any other  employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating  Reconciliation Day.  There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas  carols will be sung.  We will have other types of music for your  enjoyment.


Happy  now?


Happy Holidays to you and your  family,
Patty
  
 


Company Memo




FROM:   Patty  Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:       All  Employees
DATE:    October 3, 2008
RE:         Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received  from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you  didn't sign your name.  I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I  put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous  anymore.  How am I supposed to handle this?   Somebody?

 

And sorry, but forget about  the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that  $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little  chintzy.
 

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE  ALLOWED.
 


  
 

Company Memo




FROM:    Patty  Lewis, Human Resources Director
To:        All  Employees
DATE:    October 4, 2008
RE:         Generic Holiday Party

 

What a diverse group we are!   I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids  eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party!   Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does  not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.  Perhaps the Grill House  can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package  everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy.  Will  that work?
 

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit  farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table  closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other.   


  
 

Lesbians do not have to sit  with Gay men; each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will  be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

 

To the person asking  permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be  allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.  Sorry.
 

We will have booster seats  for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a  diet.
 

I am  sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food.   The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a  bite first. There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics,  but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts.  Sorry!

Did I miss  anything?!?!?
Patty
 


  
 

Company Memo




FROM:    Patty  Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:        All  F*%^ing Employees
DATE:    October  5,  2008
RE:        The F*%^ing Holiday  Party

 

I've had it with you  vegetarian pricks!!!  We're going to keep this party at the Grill House  whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest  from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your  f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.  But you know, tomatoes  have feelings, too.  They scream when you slice them.  I've heard  them scream.  I'm hearing them scream right  NOW!
 

The rest of you f*%^ing  wierdos can kiss my *ss.  I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive  drunk and die,
 

The  B*tch from H*ll!!!
 


  
 

Company Memo




FROM:   Joan  Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE:   October 6,  2008
RE:       Patty Lewis and Holiday  Party

 

I'm sure I speak for all of  us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward  your cards to her.
 

In the meantime, management  has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of  the 23rd off with full pay.  
 

Happy Holidays!
Joan

 





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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Constipation





 







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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

some news about the climate summit




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Sunday, December 6, 2009

A Lovely Story







A lovely story from a lady friend whom I would like to share with my friends. 

Quite touching and I'll bet that some can relate to. 

Kind of brings tears to your eyes.

LG

 


 A Lovely Story About Me 
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.  (That would be me...J) 



                   
cid:X.MA1.1259065905@aol.com       
But that was a long time ago and it was just that one day. 
THE END. 
  
 







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Me and Jean sitting on top Mt Paulina

About Me

My photo
Salem, Oregon, United States
I am married; 5 kids and 7 grandkids. We traveled alot while I was growing up. Life as a kid was a combination of The Sand Lot, Stand By Me, Radio Flyer and American Graffiti. After high school we moved to Silverton, OR where I met Jean on August 10th, 1970. We married in 1971 and have been most happy together ever since. We started having kids right away. We lived in a commune for awhile in the seventies. I went to college, worked in construction and deconstruction, worked as a taxi driver, bus driver, school bus driver, truck driver, warehouse manager, food service cook, cannery worker, certified medical aide, direct care and indirect care, recreation therapist, girls softball coach, soccer coach, Special Olympics coach for basketball and bowling. I have done some acting and singing. I have worked on March-of-dimes campaigns. I was union steward and shift supervisor. My art work is developing. I am hoping to spend a lot more time in that area of my life. Staying healthy and active these days.